Tips for feeling less shitty

Depression is that obnoxious, unpredictable friend who calls you up in the middle night asking you to bail them out of jail. She’ll ask to borrow your car, then crash it. She’ll take your favorite dress and spill red wine all over it. She’ll forget about you for months, then suddenly remember you when she needs attention. She’s a horrible influence, and she ruins everything you love but for some unexplainable reason you’re still friends.Today is one of those days where my good friend Depression woke me up by screaming in ear, just for her own amusement. I’ve been trying all day to not be bothered by it, and I’ll almost forget about the rude awakening until she sends me a text reminding me of how awful I feel.

This is my ambitious attempt to tip the scale and make the good weigh out the bad.

  1. Turn on all the lights in your room, instead of opening the blinds. Glaring at the overcast sky and the dirt covered snow will only make this worse.
  2. Crank up the heat up in your room to the point where you get so uncomfortably hot and frustrated you cannot stand to be in your cozy bed for even one more minute.
  3. Put on your favorite clothes. My outfit of the day (or ootd, as the kids say) consists of a beanie with a big furry pompom, a gigantic shirt that reminds me “It’s okay not to be okay”, my favorite watch (which is always on time), woolen socks, and a beat up pair of red Chucks.
  4. Coffee.
  5. Pet your soft kitty and hold her until she scratches you
  6. Apply antiseptic to wound.
  7. Listen to music that makes you want to conquer the world. Some options include; Last Damn Night – Elle King, I’m Gonna Show You – Bebe Rexha, I Love Myself Today – Bif Naked, Hard Out Here – Lilly Allen
  8. A&W pancakes.
  9. Admire the beauty of tinsel.
  10. Paint your nails. Take your time and don’t get frustrated when you have nail polish on your knuckle. Consider it a Pollock.
  11. Tea.
  12. Write.

So I’m not saying these tips will make you want to do cartwheels through a field of sunflowers, but they might help in making your day a little less shitty.