I’m deadly, sure!

If one thing is good, then the opposite is bad, and vice versa, right?

War = Bad. Peace = Good.

Lying = Bad. Honesty = Good.

Rude = Bad. Friendly = Good.

Loathe = Bad. Love = Good.

So if being conceited is bad, then being modest must be good. I mean, that is what we’re taught growing up, and that’s what society sees as “good”, but I don’t agree.

Yes, modesty can be seen as endearing, and most people will agree that the most “beautiful” people are the people who don’t know they’re beautiful. **Cue some bad One Direction** Maybe that’s why it is so hard for some girls to take compliments, myself included. We’re trying so hard to be modest and bashful, that we forget how amazing we are. We reject every compliment thrown our way and beat ourselves down, just so we don’t seem conceited? Is being conceited really that bad? So bad that we would rather turn down every compliment and every piece of praise given to us?

I’ve done this for years. If someone says “You’re so pretty” I reply with, “No way”. If someone says “You’re smart” I say, “No, I’m not”. I would never accept any of the positivity being thrown my way, I was constantly denying anything great about myself. When someone would say I did a great job on something, I would say “I didn’t really do much”, and even if I did, I’d believe myself, over anyone else. I was only hearing the negatives. How do you hide from you’re attacker, when the attacker is yourself, your own mind?

Maybe I acted this way, and felt these things because I have depression. Maybe the negative thoughts were the thoughts that felt the most normal and natural because of this mental illness. No idea. But what I do know is I’m not going to be that person anymore. I’ll already not that person. I’ve started accepting who I am and I feel great. Now if someone says I look good, I accept it and say thanks. I don’t argue with them, I agree. So, go ahead and call me conceited if you like, but the moment I stopped trying to be this modest person, I finally saw myself as who I truly am. Fucking deadly! I’ve surrounded myself with the best people I know. I have amazing friends, some I’ve grown up with, and some I didn’t but I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. Surrounding yourself with good vibes and great people is what really allows you to open your eyes. These friends have helped me realize how great I am at my job, and I’m doing the best I can with classes. I now know I’m a trustworthy and loyal friend, I’m honest, I’m passionate and so much more.

So yeah, maybe I am a little conceited, or maybe I’m just honest. Either way, I don’t really care what you choose to label me as, because I think I’m doing good.

 

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One thought on “I’m deadly, sure!

  1. What you consider bad One Direction, I consider rather good One Direction. This is relatable somehow. . . probably to the good vibes bit.
    Great post!!

    Liked by 1 person

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